"Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" is a novelty song recorded by Tracy Jordan.  It "went gold," meaning it has sold at least 500,000 copies.

Lyrics Edit

Man (spoken): Ah man Tre, look up at the sky, it's a full moon. On the Sabbath.

Tracy (spoken): This is scary.

Man (spoken): Break it down.

I was working late on my Haftarah,

When I heard a knock on my bedroom door-ah.

I opened it up and to my surprise,

There was a werewolf standing there with glowing gold eyes.

He says, tomorrow mine son, you will be a man,

But tonight's the time to join the Wolf'in clan... clan.

Tomorrow you will stand at the Bimah and pray,

But tonight let's gaze at the moon and bay.

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, Spooky scary!

Boys becoming men, Men becoming wolves!

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, Spooky scary!

Boys becoming men, Men becoming wolves!

Man (spoken): Alright that, that was great Tre, okay, it's over, that's a wrap.

The next day would happen the Talmud didn't teach,

I got up in front of everyone to give my little speech.

Then my teeth turned into fangs and my nails into claws,

And I nearly dropped the Torah when my hands turned into paws.

I growled and I roared, and my Rabbi did as well,

It was a rocking werewolf zoo at Temple Beth Emanuel.

Man (spoken): Hey man, where did you learn all these Jewish words?

Tracy (spoken): My manager Harvey Lemmings.

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, Spooky scary!

Boys becoming men, Men becoming wolves!

Man (spoken): I don't, I just don't think this, the idea of this song can sustain itself for that long, it doesn't, it seems a little sweaty now, so.

Tracy (spoken): This whole premise is sweaty.

We had a reception at the Larchmont country club,

They served a real nice brisket and an eight foot party sub.

I danced with my cousins, I got money from my folk,

We had a lot of fun making circumcision jokes.

Man (spoken): Un-uh.

Then I remembered the premise of my song,

I was at a nice reception but the werewolf part was gone.

So we pulled ourselves together and we're wolfman again,

Just in time for monster fight to begin!

All the country club employees were a brain sucking pack,

Who had all turned into zombies and were on the attack.

So we fought the Manson Draculas and Frankensteins too,

Cause you got to love Bar Mitzvah even if you're not a Jew.

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, Spooky scary!

Man (spoken intermixed with chorus): There is no such thing as Frankensteins, steins, there's no plural Frankenstein.

Boys becoming men, Men becoming wolves!

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, Kooky hairy!

Boys becoming men, Men becoming wolves!

Tracy (spoken): I don't want this, I don't like this, this is scary.

Tracy (spoken): Turning into werewolfs and stuff. You know.

Man (spoken): I don't know Tre, I'm not feeling it.

Man (spoken): This ain't no dick in a box.

*Wolf howwwwwwwl!

Man (spoken): Mazel tov!

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