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Mazel Tov, Dummies!

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There's No I in America was the seventh episode of the seventh and final season of 30 Rock, airing on November 29, 2012 to 3.61 million viewers. After another pregnancy test comes back negative, Liz and Criss (James Marsden) consider waiting for a child to become available to adopt. However, when the pair later runs into Dennis Duffy (Dean Winters), they discover that he has been able to adopt sooner because he is married, and wonder if they should do the same. Tracy is horrified to learn from Dr. Spaceman (Chris Parnell) that for the first time in his life, he is in perfect health and will likely live to be old, prompting him to feel that he can no longer live as recklessly as he likes to. Jenna turns to Jack for advice after a man approaches her, claiming to have "won" her in a competition that was held many years ago.

SynopsisEdit

Liz (Tina Fey) is appalled when she learns that idiotic ex-boyfriend Dennis (Dean Winters) has been allowed to adopt simply because he is married. Despite her feminist reservations about the ritual of marriage and the wedding industry, she and current live-in boyfriend Criss (James Marsden) decide to have a low-key wedding that day at City Hall to improve their chances of adoption. A series of reversals eventually force Liz to admit to herself that she would like her wedding to be a special day after all, and Criss, Jack (Alec Baldwin), and Dennis all help to make that a reality.

Meanwhile Jenna (Jane Krakowski) is approached by a crazed fan Terry (John Hodgman) who has collected 1,000,000 Surge Cola points over two decades, which according to the old contest rules grant him ownership of Jenna herself. Jenna is initially resigned to her fate, but Jack manages to negotiate with the fan so that he accepts $2,000 instead. Jenna is initially depressed that her value is so low, but Jack cheers her up by convincing her that he is equally past his prime. He remains in a funk until Liz's wedding gives him hope again.

Tracy (Tracy Morgan) is mortified to learn from Dr. Spaceman (Chris Parnell) that he is finally completely healthy, and likely to live for decades, meaning that he can no longer behave recklessly. After a stretch where he attempts to do responsible things like watch his health and save for retirement, he is struck by a taxi, and realizes that he might still die at any moment and can live life to the fullest.

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